"Left drained and confused after my miscarriage"

A Tuesday in February was one of the happiest days of my life so far. I have endometriosis and beat the odds by conceiving naturally. However just over a week later I began to have cramp like pains. I contacted NHS Direct who advised me to go to my local A&E dept straight away and see someone from the Northern Doctors.

I did this and when I arrived I was told by a Dr that I would be seen, but quickly as her lift was waiting outside. As soon as I mentioned the endometriosis this is what she put the pains down to, and sent me home. I decided to visit my GP who referred me for an abdominal scan at the Royal Victoria Infirmary. Unfortunately the Dr here couldn’t carry out the scan as it was to early in the pregnancy. After speaking with various professionals, including my midwife, it was decided that what I was suffering was ligament pains - quite normal.

I late March I passed a small amount of blood so along with my husband raced to A&E where I sat for just over an hour, after witnessing a girl miscarry and see her poor baby lying in her hand. Finally I was seen to and was told that the Dr & gynaecologist had no worries and my baby would be fine, just to settle my mind they brought my dating scan forward. Myself and husband were so excited, we were about to see our baby!

I entered the scan room, lay down and prepared myself to see my baby with my husband at my side. This is when my world fell apart. The registrar who was doing the scan said to us, “I cannot see any sign of a baby, just the sac” and turned the screen for us to see, nothing. He then went on to explain that the pains I'd been having were my body aborting my baby, so I can now have my blood taken, go home and come back on Tuesday and possibly have a medical termination (what did he mean?).

At this point I couldn’t breathe or even move, what was he talking about? We told him we didn’t understand what he was saying or what was going on. He just kept repeating himself using a lot of medical jargon. I felt that he was telling me that my body was killing my unborn baby. The lady who accompanied him asked if we'd feel better talking to a midwife. We did and she spoke to us like human beings and explained the situation.

I had my bloods done and went home to wait until Tuesday, or so I thought. I was told the worst to expect in the meantime was a small amount of bleeding.

By Sunday evening I was in so much pain that I was admitted to Wansbeck hospital. I arrived and was seen promptly. They took my blood, then told me to walk to ward 22 (wherever that was) although I could barely even stand at this point and was passing some unthinkable things. Myself, husband and my mam eventually made it to the ward where we were told we'd have to wait in the waiting area for up to 2 hours as all Dr's were in theatre.

The nurse on the ward had not been made aware that I was in the middle of a miscarriage. Which made what I was first told even more difficult to understand. Once she was made aware of this she got me into a side room to wait with my family. The next couple of hours are a bit blurry. It was decided after a while to give me some pain relief and send me home to wait for Tuesday’s appointment. As we were just about to leave the room the most agonising pain hit me and I 'passed' my pregnancy, the nurse & Dr advised me to stay in hospital overnight to pass the rest of the pregnancy as not all had come out. I agreed and asked for my husband to stay with me. This was not allowed as they wanted to put me in a bed on the ward.

Bearing in mind that I was actually in the process of losing my baby, I decided to go home. I couldn’t stay in hospital on my own losing my baby, bleeding and passing blood etc, frightened and in a ward full of people with posters about pregnancy grants and babies.

It’s now Monday and the physical pain has subsided. Although I still have to attend another scan on Tuesday I feel that the physical stuff is over. I’ve been left drained and confused. What has happened to me and my baby and why?

I wanted to share my story as I think the treatment I have received was disgusting. The midwife and a lady with her at Rake Lane hospital and the nurse & Dr at Wansbeck hospital were wonderful. However the Dr from the Northern Doctors at Rake Land along with the registrar should not even have though about working within a so called caring environment. I felt pushed to the back of the queue, as if to say “her baby’s dead, she can wait”.