"Bluebell Ward: An amazing team and great care"
Posted by Janeyp1
When I was discharged on 3rd January 2014 it was for the 1st and last time. I had had time to recharge my batteries, time to reflect on the impact bi polar was having on my life and a firm belief that life was going to change. As the new year ticked by and the medication kicked in I thought I could put this episode behind me. I became bored by the lack of highs (completely forgetting they were always followed by a big low) and slowly life returned to its usual hectic, burn myself out pace. No surprises then that 6 months later I was back where I’d been in December, a burnt out, suicidal mess. When a hospital admission was suggested I was devastated. I felt embarrassed at being at what felt like square 1 again. Everything felt out of control, I was ravaged with the most intense and violent suicidal thoughts. I felt I’d let my family down - the children were confused that I had remained well for such a short time. I was worried I’d be judged by you, that you may feel frustrated that I had relapsed so quickly after such good care. However from the moment that they opened the door and let me in, I only ever felt a commitment to getting me well. I felt no pressure or impatience, just a genuine concern for my well-being and that of my family. I had great support through the groups and one to ones with staff. And hopefully this time things will really change. I hope not to need another admission but am now accepting of the thought that should it be needed I’m in great hands. I will never be able to find the words that truly capture my gratitude, and that of my family for your support. Best wishes and a big Thank you to you all.