"no idea how to tackle my illness"

Diagnosed 5 years ago with border line personality disorder. went into crisis last June doctor had me in medication and I referred myself to Suffolk wellbeing they told me I was too ill for them and discharged me. dr referred me to the mental health team. 4 months later I am still in crisis and still waiting for the referral after a few reminders from my Dr I finally see them they recommend I go to a mind group and discharge me I'm still in crisis and in the end had to quit my job due to illness and stress. The mind group has helped alot. my dr has so far been brilliant. the link Worker at my drs has been a waste of space so yet again I have been left on medication with no idea of how to tackle my illness. I won't phone the crisis team when I go into crisis because of all the horror stories I have heard. My husband has to hide my medication incase I go into crisis when he's not here. And I feel like I'm drowning.