"My mothers death"

I concur with another of your patients with regards to waiting period, my dear mum 89 years young with all her faculties was rushed in as she had a temp of 39 she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in September last year, which was such a blow as she had not seemed overly poorly and we had a lovely Christmas as the Dr in cancer care said it would be best to start chemo in January and have a good Christmas with her. We did wait in the corridor for what seemed forever the nurses were very busy, we were told that they were understaffed as this was new years day very understandable The nurse that first saw to mum was quite abrupt and when she asked had mum had a carer I said no as she was assessed and was told because she was mobile she was not eligible, to which the nurse said it no uncertain terms that she had been a carer and it was a difficult job so that is the way it was, i fully understand as i have been mums carer now for the last three years and working full time with kids and grand kids it was not easy. Mum was taken to assessment and the nurses were lovely, I left knowing she was in good care. The following events of the next two days were very harrowing, when mum was moved to a chest ward she was very unhappy, she said she couldnt spend another night there as it was sooo noisy and the machines on her for dehydration and eventually a catheter kept making noises, whilst i was there the battery ran out several times, i could not find anyone to help, eventually a nurse from another ward kindly helped with the plugs etc a student nurse came to check mum, she had not much clue how the machine worked so the older nurse talked her through it,rather alarming with mum so poorly and the nurse with knowledge not even on that ward. I was called the next day to say that mum was fading and would i allow CPR if the worst came to the worst! she had deteriorated over night i said no did not want her to go through anymore trauma, Mum had a huge black mask attached to her tiny head to help her breath but it was not working properly and she was getting in a panic as she suffered with claustrophobia i asked the young nurse to take it off..and use the ordinary mask mums oxygen levels were very low. she kept asking me to take her home which haunts me now. a lady Dr the first time i seen a Dr ! called my husband and i in to be told that mum had double pneumonia and was very poorly I could not believe it. Mum got very distressed and kept trying to get out of bed, my Son eventually asked a nurse to help as it was too distressing , so someone came along with a laptop and and a needle, I stupidly thought that she was just going to calm her with a sedative, but it was in fact morphine when the lovely nurse sat with us she said it wont be long now..!! as we watched in horror as mum slipped away. I cannot get those last moments out of my head mum asking me to take her home the rapidity of her passing. thank you to the nurses that helped.