"Hot flushes"

I have been having hot flushes 24/7 every day for 16 years. My mother had them until she died, aged 86. My two sisters, both older than me, have never had one. I have been on Fem-seven conti patches for several years. Recently, while suffering from a particularly nasty virus, which among other symptoms caused a very bad cough, I had what appeared to be a menstrual bleed; the first of any kind that I have had since I stopped my periods aged 46. I was immediately referred to a Gynaecologist. He said I might want to try stopping the HRT once I have retired, maybe in the next year or two. My doctor said no, I must stop it immediately. That scared my husband, so I stopped two months ago. I have now returned to the 24/7 hot flushes, with extremely disturbed sleep. I have been prescribed anti-depressants but am reluctant to go down that road. I have tried Black Cohosh, soy isoflavines, sage, and many other homeopathic/herbal remedies with no success. I am finding my situation extremely debilitating and wonder if anyone with similar experience can offer me any help. Should I go back to the patches, which work perfectly for me, totally relieving me of all symptoms?