"Iv'e found the nurses very ..."

What I liked

Iv'e found the nurses very helpful,

What could be improved

I've been diagnosed Hiv Positive 6 years now. Like a good patient i've gone to all my appointments, and on time...

1. They don't have any female doctors there only men. (alot of women who are positive may have had bad experiences with men, so the last thing they want is a male doctor)

I feel intimidated every time i come there, and end up shouting and getting angry at my friends, who are trying to support me.

When I first came I shared My views with the Doctor, who in 2 mins crushed them, and since then i've been coming in tears...

I tried not to give in I took care of my self, eating healthy, etc, My bloods went up by 400, I was told it was a mistake....

I felt crushed, and completely deflated.. and completely powerless.... That was 4 years ago... I felt what ever i did I couldn't win in the doctor's eyes... I started drinking and smoking heavy.... Ofcourse my results have gone down immensly since then....

The reason i'm writing this is to say that we all have our views, as a believer of alternative/complimentory medicine, I find it very disturbing and intimidating, that i should be treated like this...

'They never ask me how i'm doing, have I been taking care of my health etc... Its like every time i go i just feel they can't wait to get me on the meds,... Why???

I might be HIV Positive, but i'm also a person, and my views should be acknowledged and respected, i feel i'm in a battle here, against 'their views' and my views...

I don't want to be angry, and keep taking this out on my friends, But i don't know what else to do...

I refuse to be a victim to my staus or anything, and i don't wish to be made to feel like one, every time i come to see 'them'

This is really disturbing me, and has been for months... How can i say to the doctors, this has nothing to do with the diagnosis, but the way they make me feel....

They won't understand.

A